September 2018 Empties

Hey guys! Catching up on my empties posts, so here is everything I used up in September. 

Bonapiel Beauty & Youth Serum - It smelled a bit too strong for my liking, but made my skin feel nice.Would not repurchase.

The Body Shop Aloe Calming Toner - You all know my love for this toner, and I only have a couple left. I will not be repurchasing, unfortunately. This is just too plain considering the price. 

2 Cane + Austin Miracle Pad - This was super intense, but it was effective in making my skin soft and glowy. Maybe would repurchase. 

Aveeno Daily Moisturizing Lotion - This was very light, yet really hydrating. I tend to like Aveeno products, but likely won't repurchase. 

Bath & Body Works Black Cherry Merlot Hand Soap - Love this scent, but you all know I'm using up my stash and moving along to something a bit better quality. Will not repurchase. 

Maple Holistics Tea Tree Shampoo - I surprisingly liked this! It made my scalp feel nice, but I did need extra conditioner as it dried my hair out a bit. Will not repurchase. 

Dove Men Clean Comfort Antiperspirant - I actually used this since my husband didn't like spray deodorants. It smelled a bit overpowering but did its job. Will not repurchase. 

Young Living Super B - I LOVE this b complex vitamin! I've actually used up more than this but forget to save the bottles. I'm slowly moving towards using all Young Living products in general, and have switched over all supplements completely. Will definitely repurchase!

Triple Paste - For my daughter's tushy. This was great stuff. It's got no scent, and takes away rashes quickly. I've found a Young Living product I like better, so I will not repurchase this. 

Crest Pro Health Advanced toothpaste - I did not like this at all. The scrubbing bits in it didn't help my teeth feel cleaner and the taste didn't last either. Will not repurchase. 

Products used up: 11

Total for the year: 124 

Next post will be October's empties, and I'm so, so close to hitting my goal! I'm tempted to up my goal a bit to 165 products used, but if I don't hit that goal, it's not a huge deal. It feels good regardless getting rid of all these products and making room for better quality products :)

July 2018 Empties

I know I'm super behind on the blog, and I realized I forgot to share the products I used up in July. Oops! There aren't many, so this will be a quick post. August so far is going so much better with using stuff up, and I'll try to get that post up asap. 

This is sort of a mish-mash of products. I finally used up another can of Batiste Dry Shampoo in the Sassy & Daring Wild scent. I didn't mind this scent too much, but it was slightly overpowering. I honestly don't use as much dry shampoo as I used to because I don't leave the house much, so I don't mind if my hair's a bit dirty. 

I used to love the Bath & Body Works hand soaps, but now I just want them all gone! I did enjoy the Boardwalk Vanilla Cone scent, and I have only 3 unopened bottles left to use, then I'll be making my own hand soap with my Young Living essential oils. 

I really liked the DDF Ultra-Lite Oil-Free Moisturizing Dew. It felt awesome on my skin and left it feeling soft and smooth. I probably won't repurchase as I'm making the slow switch to Young Living skincare products. 

I've always hated EOS lip balms, and still do, ha! This one was alright, but I don't remember the scent. I know it had coconut mik in it, so maybe it was a strawberry coconut. Either way, I'll never buy EOS lip balms ever again. 

My last of the Philosophy hand creams are finished! I LOVE the Fresh Cream scent, and am tempted to buy more, but likely won't. 

Lastly, is my daughter Olivia's products. As I've been learning more about body products, especially for babies, I'm just wanting to get rid of everything I have for her. I did use up the Head-to-Toe Wash, but am throwing out about half a bottle full of the Baby Lotion. I also used up a sample size of the Dr. Smith's Diaper Rash Ointment. I don't think it did much honestly, and have found a much better and safer option through Young Living for her. 

Products used up: 8
Total for the year: 102

I'm finally over the 100 mark! I have a feeling I may actually be able to surpass my goal of using up 150 products, and that makes me feel so amazing! I've been on this journey of decluttering and switching over to a more healthy wellness lifestyle, hence all the mentions of Young Living. Let me know if you would like to learn more about Young Living! You can email me at skinstuffbykaty@yahoo.com

What products have you used up recently? 

July Young Living Essential Rewards

I've had my ER (Essential Rewards) order now for almost a week, and am so excited to share with you all what I got this month!

I'm so excited for this month because I finally was able to purchase the Ningxia Red ER kit. It comes with 4 bottles of Ningxia Red, plus a box of 30, 2 ounce packs for $187. It's by far the most cost efficient way to buy Ningxia Red. If you don't know what Ningxia Red is, it's basically Young Living's anti-oxidant drink. All you need to drink is 2-4 ounces daily (I drink just 2 ounces, and my daughter drinks 1 ounce) to get your daily dose of amazing health benefits. I also got the Super B supplement to help me with my energy levels, because I so need it with my almost 2 year old daughter. 

The essential oils I got were Rosemary, Elemi, Kidscents SleepyIze, and Valerian. Both the SleepyIze and Valerian are going to be used to hopefully help with sleeping better. I got Rosemary because I wanted to make this hair spray for my daughter called Mermaid Spray, to help her hair grow in faster and thicker. I've heard that Elemi is very similar to Frankincense, and I'm almost out of Frank because I use it so much. It's just so expensive, and Elemi costs much less, so I figured I'd give it a try!

Everything else pictured was FREE! Seriously, because I made a 300pv (basically $300) purchase, I got 4 oils and a spray all for free. LavaDerm is a great spray for if you get a little too crispy being out in the sun, or just need to cool down. The 4 oils are Lavender Vitality, Valor, Geranium, and Aroma Life. Lavender Vitality I hear is amazing mixed into lemonade. I cannot live without Valor! It's the oil that helps give me courage and feel more positive, so I'm glad it was a freebie this month. Geranium is good for the skin, and Aroma Life has a few different uses. It's said to be good for circulation, muscle tension, and skin and hair support. 

The other oil pictured in front of the little blue bag is called Loyalty. Now this is an oil you're not supposed to receive until you've been on ER for 12 consecutive months. I've only been on for 3 months. I did contact customer service and to make a long story short, I get to keep it since it was their mistake!

That is everything I got this month! Guys, I cannot explain to you how much Young Living has changed our lives. These oils help us sleep, calm me down, and keep me sane (well, as sane as I can be taking care of a special needs child!). And oils are just the tip of the iceberg! They have SO many wellness products, and we have slowly been changing over to all things Young Living. If you have any questions for me at all about these or other products Young Living has, feel free to email me at skinstuffbykaty@yahoo.com. If you've been wanting to sign up with YL and would like to make the jump in getting your Premium Starter Kit, you can sign up here! Shoot me an email after so I can add you to our education groups on Facebook, if you have FB, and send you a little welcome package. I cannot wait to have you start your oily journey :)

June Young Living Essential Rewards

Since starting with Young Living, I've absolutely LOVED everything I've tried. I placed my Essential Rewards (ER) order for June, and wanted to share with you all what I got this month.

I decided to get allllll the oils this month! Young Living is mostly known for their essential oils, though they do have other amazing wellness products. I wanted all oils so I can get a feel for what I like. 

- Vitality Oils: Lime, Peppermint, Ginger, and Digize

- KidScents oils: TummyGize, SleepyIze, SniffleEase. These oils are fabulous for kids! They're already pre-diluted for kids aged 2+, so I dilute just a little more since Olivia is just 20 months old

- Christmas Spirit, Awaken, Purification, and Valor

- White Angelica, Peace & Calming II, and Gentle Baby

- Sacred Mountain, Stress Away, Cedarwood, Abundance, and Thieves

All the oils to the right were free! Yes, FREE! They are the promo oils this month for spending a certain amount, and are worth over $200. 

- Orange Vitality, M-Grain, Citronella, Cypress, Lemongrass, Lavender, and Roman Chamomile

I think my all-time favorite oil (so far, at least) is Stress Away. It has vanilla and other oils to help promote relaxation, which then helps me to sleep a little better. This oil was my "a-ha" oil! I made my daughter Olivia a sleep roller with SleepyIze, Cedarwood, and Valor, and she sleeps like a rock, it's pretty incredible!  

If anyone has questions or comments about Young Living products, please feel free to leave a comment below, or email me at skinstuffbykaty@yahoo.com with the subject line Young Living. If you've been interested in oils for a while, but haven't made the leap yet, you can sign up as a member here to get your Premium Starter Kit for just $160! It's an over $300 value for an insane price. I would absolutely love having you on my team, so definitely shoot me an email if you sign up! I cannot wait to get you started on your oily journey!

Young Living Premium Starter Kit + May ER

Young Living is a company I had known about for years. I had a friend talk to me a few months ago about their oils and while I was interested, I wasn't truly ready to get a kit then. Fast forward a few months to around the end of May, I was finally ready! I had gotten to a point where I wanted a different lifestyle for myself, as well as my family. I ended up getting the Premium Starter Kit with the Desert Mist diffuser that retails for $160. I also signed up for their monthly wellness box called ER, or Essential Rewards. I'm going to share my thoughts on the starter kit and share what was in my May ER. 

Like I mentioned above, the Premium Starter Kit starts at $160. There are others that are more expensive, and there's also a basic starter kit that costs $45, but you don't get all the essential oils or a diffuser. I wanted to have a good array of oils to try, plus all the little extras, so I sprung for the premium kit. 

The kit also came with a product guide for 2018, as well as a catalog that's more for the holiday season.

The box everything comes in is absolutely gorgeous, and has a picture of lavender fields. Lavender is one of my favorite scents, so I was glad to see it included in the kit! 

Oils in the kit:

Lemon Vitality
Copaiba Vitality
Digize Vitality
Thieves Vitality
Peppermint Vitality

Panaway
Raven
Citrus Fresh
Frankincense
Lavender

Stress Away

I was so intrigued by the vitality oils because they are considered to generally be safe for consumption. I've been adding a drop of Lemon Vitality in an 8 ounce glass of water first thing in the morning. It's so refreshing and helps with detoxing. 

I've also been using Lavender and Frankincense on my daughter at bedtime to help her sleep, and it's seriously been a miracle duo! She's been sleeping like a champ!

It also came with two packets of Ningxia Red, which is their whole-body supplement drink. It contains wolfberry, which is said to have incredible health benefits. I've already drank one, and it surprisingly gave me some energy during a midday slump I was feeling. Young Living is pretty well known for their Thieves line of products. The kit contains a 1 ounce sample packet of their household cleaner. You can mix this with water in a spray bottle and have an all-purpose cleaner to use on a multitude of surfaces. It's been said to replace many different household cleaners, which will save money in the long run. The kit also comes with 10 tiny bottles you can make samples with to give to friends and family if you wish. 

This is the Desert Mist diffuser. I chose this one due to the fact that you can diffuse for up to 10 hours. There are a few different settings to have it run for a few hours, slightly longer than that, then up to 10. I love that because I can use it in the living room in the morning to help feel refreshed and awake, in the afternoon to help keep me on task, and I can use it at night while I'm sleeping to help me fall and stay asleep. There are also light settings to change the color while diffusing, which is really nice as well. 

These are the products I chose for my May ER (essential rewards) order:

Thieves Dentarome Plus toothpaste
Seedling Diaper Rash Cream
4 Vitality Oils: Orange, Lemon, Thieves and Citrus Fresh

I have yet to try the toothpaste and diaper rash cream. I'm a bit nervous to try the toothpaste due to my ultra sensitive teeth, and I have a different diaper rash cream I'm almost finished with before I open the Seedlings one. I picked vitality oils because they're not as expensive and it helped me to get to the 50PV I needed to place my order. I already received my June ER order in the mail and will share that sometime next week.

I've been using my kit daily, multiple times a day. I've loved it so much, that I've decided to become a distributor for Young Living! I've learned so much about all the different products, have so many amazing support people on my team, and have just fallen in love with the brand. I absolutely cannot wait to start this journey, and if anyone has any questions for me or would like to join my team, feel free to sign up here or shoot me an email at skinstuffbykaty@yahoo.com. You can also leave a comment below if you wish. I can't wait to get started!

Are you already part of Young Living? What do you like about it most?

Review: HASK Monoi Coconut Dry Shampoo

 *Product sent for review thanks to BrandBacker*

As a mom to an almost 11 month old, dry shampoo is pretty prevalent in my life. Showers sometimes need to be skipped, but I still want my hair to look somewhat decent and not oily. I was given the chance to try out the HASK Coconut Dry Shampoo, and I've been pretty impressed with it!

Here is some info on the HASK Coconut Dry Shampoo:

Infused with a tropical coconut scent
Long-lasting Oil Absorption
Removing excess oil is now easier than lather, rinse and repeat. Skip a wash or extend the life of your style with this lightweight, coconut infused formula that will leave your second day hair even fresher than the first. Ultra-fine rice starch acts quickly to soak up oil, sweat and odor leaving hair bouncy, vibrant and clean. The tropical escape your hair has been waiting for!

You can find HASK dry shampoos at Ulta Beauty for $7.99 each. 

You all know I love anything that smells like coconut, and this particular dry shampoo smells incredible! It also makes my hair feel nice and fresh, even if I skipped a couple days of washing. It doesn't leave white streaks in my hair and makes it feel less fine as well. The can it comes in is huge and will likely last me a long while, which will be great for me in the Winter while I'm missing the warm weather of Summer. 

I feel like this is a great dry shampoo, the price is right, and definitely something I would consider purchasing myself!

What dry shampoo do you like to use?

July 2017 Goals

I completely fell off the face of the Earth in June and the firsts half of July, and I apologize for that! There are times where I feel like social media and blogging take over my life, and I obsess over making everything perfect. Also, with having a daughter who has special needs, I cannot have that in my life. Her well-being is the most important, and so is my mental health. I took a bit of a break to regroup and now I'm back! Since I didn't recap my goals from May, I'll go over those and then let you all know what I would like to accomplish in July. 

GOALS FROM MAY

- Reach 2,000 page views: That didn't happen, yet again. Since I took a decently long break, I wasn't promoting anything either on my social channels, so page views suffered greatly.  

- Have a family day: That sadly still has not happened! My husband works his butt off 50-60 hours a week, so when he has a day off and we have no appointments for Olivia, or any other plans, he just wants to stay home. We did end up going out for lunch one day in June to Olive Garden, and that was Olivia's first restaurant experience! She did well, and was talking up a storm (aka. screeching and giggling). She also enjoyed licking their breadsticks...

- Do a face mask once a week: Nope, didn't happen in May, but I have gotten better doing masks in June and July so far. I need to use up some of my stash before they go bad. 

- Organize Olivia's clothing: Yes and no. I had a good handle on it and it was all sorted out, then it got all disorganized again. I need to still put away all her 0-3 month clothes, and organize her 3-6 month clothes again, which is what she fits in currently (yes, she's still really small, but she was a preemie after all!).

GOALS FOR JULY

- Promote older blog posts on social media at least 3 times a week: Doing that usually helps drive more traffic to my blog, and gets more of my work out there. 

- Try to get more sleep: I know you're probably thinking, "you have a baby, sleep doesn't apply anymore." It actually does! Olivia sleeps decently well, only waking once occasionally. I don't feed her at night anymore, so she tends to just shuffle around and goes back to sleep on her own. However, since she wakes me up when she moves, I tend to stay awake for a while. I also have a bad habit of being on my phone for an hour or so when I get into bed, and that needs to stop. 

- Use up more beauty products: Ugh, I've been awful again with taking care of my skin and need to really get into a solid routine and use up products. I've been really slacking with using up products lately and have sad looking empties posts as a result. I'll be starting those again in August since I'll have a bunch of empty products to share!

- Write and post 6 blog posts: I'm not putting a weekly goal or anything since we're already about half way through the month already, but I would like to publish 6 posts during the rest of this month, and looking at my blogging schedule, I just may be able to do it!

That's it for July! I'm so sorry again for the absence. I'm sure all my fellow moms can relate to life getting tough and needing a break!

Keeping Cool During Summer w/ Evian

*Product sent courtesy for review thanks to Evian and BrandBacker*

Ah, Summer! A season that most people love, but when it's ridiculously hot, no one is happy. I'm a fan of warmer weather versus cold, but in the Summer when it gets humid, I totally like staying inside with the AC on full blast. Now that we have our daughter here, we want to try and get out a little more, but make sure we all stay comfortable in the heat.  Evian makes it easy to help stay cool, and refresh tiny hands and faces!

Here is some info of the brand:

Evian® Natural Brumisateur Mineral Water Facial Spray gently cleanses and helps refresh baby's skin. From the French Alps, Evian® has a unique balance of minerals, a neutral 7.2 pH, and is free from any chemicals so it won't irritate your baby's delicate skin. Our spray is also propelled by nitrogen, so it's safe for babies and for the environment.
  
As a new mom, chemicals are something I've been trying to stay away from. If you're not an avid reader of my blog, my daughter had open heart surgery on March 1st, so it's been very important to me that I watch how she is in heat, and that I'm not getting nasty chemicals on her skin or near her mouth. 

Evian says, "Moms can use the spray to rinse off sticky fingers and messy faces, during diaper changes, to sooth irritated diaper rash, kid's hair brushing or styling, and many more. There is no limit to your creativity when it comes to your kids, as mom's already know."

This is now a diaper bag staple for us. If we're out and she gets messy, I just spray a little Evian onto a cloth and wipe up her face. She also has sensitive skin and is prone to diaper rashes, and this helps immensely with irritation.

Evian is also very kind to be giving away a diaper bag, as well as several sizes of their sprays! This giveaway goes until June 30th, so be sure to enter here while you still can! 

May 2017 Goals

I had some pretty lofty goals for April, and didn't quite make the mark. May is such a nice month to me weather wise, so I'm going to cut myself some slack and go with the flow this month. Lets recap how I did last month, and talk about what I'd like to do in May. 

Goals from April

- Reach 2,000 pageviews on the blog: Didn't happen! I came in at just under 1,400 for the month, and that's ok. I ended up exhausting myself and didn't promote posts like I should have

- Have some ME time: Yes! I did have a little me time and treated myself to a haircut! I hadn't had a haircut in about 2 years, and it was just time to chop it all off and start fresh. I did also manage to hand off Olivia to her dad a few times so I could shower in peace and not have to rush. 

- Continue writing 2 posts a week: Eh, not so much. I was doing so well from about the middle of March to middle of April. Like I mentioned above, I exhausted myself with taking care of Olivia, making sure the house got cleaned, getting her to doctors appointments, making dinner, etc. Life just got crazy and I fell into a bit of a funk. Luckily, I have some awesome friends who understand what I've been going through, so I feel better and am ready to continue growing my blog back up!

- Organize our house: It's getting there! I was doing really well and managed to donate quite a few trash bags of stuff, as well as throw away stuff we no longer needed or wanted. It seriously feels so good getting rid of junk! I always feel like my head clears and I can focus more when things are put in their right place. Of course, our house still isn't perfect (and probably never will be) and is taken over by baby stuff, but I've made some great progress. 

GOALS FOR MAY

- 2,000 blog pageviews. I'm going to keep this as a goal because it's really so attainable, as long as I put in the effort. 

- Have a family day. Since we brought Olivia home, I've been weird about being around germs and lots of people. We've slowly ventured out into the world, and I would like to go out as a family one day to either a park or flea market. Something with just the 3 of us.

- Do a face mask once a week. This one has been soooo hard! I'm still getting back into a skincare routine, and I've been slacking using face masks. I love how they make my skin feel, and I need to use up what I have in my stash. 

- Organize Olivia's clothing. Ok, this has been a feat since she's been born! We've been incredibly lucky to have people give us so much clothing to last through about her first year of life. She's still small and is about to go into 3 to 6 month clothes. I just have so much to go through and sort, and I'm still trying to figure a way to make it easy on myself when she transitions to the next size.  

These are my goals for the month. I am definitely going to cut myself some slack and if I don't hit something, I'm not going to worry. Taking care of Olivia is my #1 priority, and I'm not taking time away from her, as I'm sure most people would understand. 

Let me know what goals you have for the month!

Review: Hip Baby Wrap Ring Sling

*Product provided for review. All opinions are mine. Post contains affiliate links*

I had the awesome chance to try out the Hip Baby Wrap Ring Sling in Sky. Ever since having Olivia, I wanted a good way to carry her around when out doing errands, or even things around the house. 

Here is a description of the sling from their website:

"Featuring a colorful print and a simple design, our wrap provides an elegant and traditional way to carry little ones. Promotes bonding and physical development as Baby grows. Our soft cotton construction are uniquely hand-woven to provide a bit of give so they mold perfectly to the body and create a very comfortable fit for Baby and Babywearer."

This sling is 100% cotton, machine washable, is also great for nursing on-the-go and for using as a nursing cover. It can be used for babies from 8 pounds, all the way up to 35 pounds. You can find them on their website here for $68, or also on Amazon here for $39.95 or $49.95 depending on the style. 

I adore this ring sling so much, and am tempted to get one in every color! I will say, there is a learning curve to figuring out how to use it properly and safely, so I recommend watching some YouTube videos on how to actually use one, if you've never tried a ring sling before. Now that I've used this a few times, I feel like I can safely carry Olivia around while grocery shopping, or doing some light housework. I even noticed that when she's fighting sleep, I put her in the sling and she's out in 5 minutes. Works like a charm! 

Hip Baby Wrap has so many different colors and styles to choose from! If you have a new baby, or an older one who likes to be held all the time, I highly recommend this sling. This would make an awesome baby shower gift as well for the mom who wants to babywear!

If you have kids, what do you think about this ring sling? Is it something you're interested in?

Life Lately

Hello? Is anyone there? *blows cobwebs off the computer* 

Hey guys! It sure has been quite a while! My last post was back in November and it was my goals for the month. It's fairly safe to say I did not accomplish pretty much anything I had set for myself. After my daughter Olivia was born 10 weeks early back in October, things have just been really crazy. 

But, she is now finally home! It's still so weird for me to say that, I thought the day would never come. A little backstory on Olivia these past 5 months...

She was born on October 17th, 2016 but was due on Christmas Eve. She has Down Syndrome and was also born with a heart defect called a Complete AV Canal. That is essentially a big, giant hole right in the center of her heart. With that hole being there, it was mixing the oxygenated and de-oxygenated blood together, making it really hard for her to breathe, so she was on oxygen support for her whole life. Since she was born premature, it made that complication worse. Until we got transferred to one of the best hospitals in the country to repair the defect. She had surgery on March 1st, and then came home on the 9th, with no oxygen or feeding tube! To say that my husband and I were ecstatic that she had done so well, and could come home without wires and tubes, was a massive understatement. 

It was getting to be so hard going back and forth to the hospital every single day, and once we were transferred for surgery, I lived at the hospital since it was quite far from our home. A good friend of mine set up a fund for us, which you can find here, to help us out with bills that were piling up, as well as getting anything we needed for Olivia still. Since I never did have a baby shower, we weren't able to get alot of what we needed. if you're able to give anything at all, it would mean the world to us. Even sharing the page on your social media is incredibly helpful as well!

Now, with all that being said, blogging should hopefully return to normal very soon. I'll still be talking about beauty, but I'll be adding in some lifestyle and baby posts, since my priorities have changed these last few months. I don't have a set schedule yet, but I'm hoping to be publishing at least 2 posts a week for now. I'm so glad to be writing again finally, and I missed all of you terribly!

Here is a recent picture of Olivia! Considering what a peanut she used to be, she looks giant here!

What would you all like to see here on the blog? I have some ideas floating around in my head, but I could always use more inspiration!

November Goals

It's that time again where I share with you the goals I have set for the month. Last month was a whirlwind with our daughter being born 10 weeks early, so it's safe to say that most of the goals I had set went out the window. Lets see how I did anyway!

Goals from October

- Get more baby stuff set up: Ha! Yeah, didn't happen.

- Clean and declutter our home more: ...Nope!

- Take better care of myself: Nah, sadly. Olivia was born October 17th, so between being in the hospital for a week and going back and forth constantly to the NICU, I look like I'm homeless. 

- Post at least 3 times a week: Didn't happen, obviously. I had every intention of being a good blogger, but Miss Olivia surprised us!

Goals for November

- Take better care of myself. Now I know I had this for last month, but this month I really need to do it. I'm sleep deprived, eating a ton of junk food, and shower 2 or 3 times a week at most. I know that's probably gross, but I'm at the hospital pretty much every single day. I get there bright and early and I'm typically not home until late and crash into bed. As much as I hate leaving her there, I need to start really caring for myself. Taking a shower and cooking myself a meal needs to be a priority again. 

- Blog at least once a week. I'm starting to bring my laptop to the hospital with me now, so I can take pictures at home and then write up posts while I visit Olivia. 

- Clean our house. This needs to get done, like yesterday. Since Olivia's been born, our house looks like a tornado hit. I may have to bite the bullet one of these days and not visit so early in the morning just to clean. 

I think I'm going to leave it at these three goals for November. Life has been absolutely insane and I'm trying my best to get into a routine. If you all are interested, I can do an update post on Olivia when she's a month old. Just let me know!

What are some of your goals for this month?

When Plans Don't Go As Planned

Hey guys! I know it's been quite a while since my last post, which was my letter to my future daughter. Well, who would've thought that she'd be born just 5 days later, a whopping 10 weeks early!

This is Miss Olivia about a week after she was born. I wasn't able to hold her for a while because she had so many wires attached to her and she had a tube down her throat helping her breathe. 

This is a more recent picture of her when she didn't need the cpap machine anymore, and nasal canulas were the replacement. She still had a feeding tube down her throat too, which she was always tugging at trying to take it out (she was successful quite a few times).

This was taken just a couple days ago. She sleeps EXACTLY like me, so I had to take this picture. Her feeding tube is now through her nose and they keep lowering the amount of oxygen she needs, which is fantastic. She's doing so much better considering her traumatic birth.

I don't think I mentioned her full name yet, and it's Olivia Penelope Curran. She is seriously the sweetest baby ever, even though she had a pretty rough start in life. We knew before she was born that she would have a heart condition that will require surgery, as well as Down Syndrome. She was 3 pounds, 10 ounces at birth, which I was told is a great weight for only being 30 weeks and 2 days along. She is finally just past her birth weight and is slowly getting bigger and stronger everyday. 

She has a very long road ahead of her, and will be in the NICU for quite a while. Sometimes plans definitely don't go as planned, and we were so scared at her being born 10 weeks early. I wanted to mention in this post that I have also set up a GoFundMe page for her. We luckily have good insurance that will cover everything medically, but between all the trips to the hospital and my husband still having to work 50-60 hours a week, we've been spending so much money on gas and food just to be able to see her, and we still need a ton of baby things since I had to cancel my baby shower. She will eventually be transferred to a better hospital for her surgery, but that hospital is well over an hour away from us. We won't be able to see her as often when she is transferred, and we want to try our best, but are starting to not be able to afford much. If anyone would like to donate anything or even just share her page, it would mean the world to us. The money donated will be going towards the baby supplies we'll need when she comes home, gas and food. Again, here is the link to her page. Any prayers and positive thoughts are more than welcome as well :)

Pregnancy After A Loss + Gender Reveal!

Hey guys! I have a different kind of post today, and it's something that is pretty personal, but means quite a bit to me. I'm going to be talking about how I'm feeling about being pregnant after my miscarriage last Summer, but ending on a happy note, I'm going to let you all know if we're having a boy or girl in December!

If you're new here, or don't remember from previous mentions, I suffered a missed miscarriage in July last year. We found out July 23rd that our baby no longer had a heartbeat, but my body had yet to expel anything. We were completely devastated, especially since we had already heard a strong heartbeat and got a nice ultrasound picture (which we have held onto and is shown above, and placed in a picture frame that sits on a shelf in our living room. We gave the nickname Peanut, since we didn't know if it was a boy or girl yet). After finding out, I decided I wanted to try and naturally miscarry as I was terrified of having to get surgery. Well, after a couple weeks of nothing happening, and me being so depressed and angry at the world, I had a D&C in August, which is the surgery you get if you have a missed miscarriage, or an incomplete miscarriage. The D&C itself went fine, but I had some complications afterwards that I won't get into.

Fast forward to October after I had started a birth control that my OB had recommended, I ended up in the hospital with a pulmonary embolism (blood clots in my lung). I was still depressed from the miscarriage, then that had to happen. It just seemed like things kept getting worse and worse. I was always sad or angry, and kept asking why something so horrible had to happen. I almost felt like I did something in a past life that was catching up to me. 

Fast forward again to April. After I had the PE, I was put on blood thinners for 6 months to get rid of the clots in my right lung as well as prevent any new ones from forming. I was finished taking the blood thinners by now, and I found out I was pregnant shortly after, like not even a week later. Part of me was excited, then the other part of me was terrified. I had still been on the thinners when I conceived, and the pills I was taking are not recommended for use during pregnancy. Did I do severe damage to my baby? Is it going to die now because of me? I was so scared and cried for days. 

We're now in the beginning of August, and I'm just over 20 weeks along. We've had a couple scares that required emergency room visits, but all is well now. The last 20 weeks have been such a roller coaster of emotions, and although alot of it is probably due to hormones, nothing has prepared me for how I was going to feel being pregnant after a loss. I read so many blogs and different books on how to feel better or get over it, but in all honesty, I will never get over my loss. We would've had a son in February, but the cause of the miscarriage was Down's Syndrome, according to genetic testing I had done after the D&C. My chances of having a living baby with Down's is actually higher now apparently because of that, and I'm still in the process of doing testing to know for sure if my current baby will have it. So far though, all ultrasounds I've had have been great and nothing looks wrong. There's absolutely nothing wrong with having a baby with Down's, I just need to know and prepare myself just in case, because I know it will be hard. 

So many people don't understand what I'm going through, because they haven't been through a miscarriage. I get judged all the time for not seeming excited enough and I'm told to just be happy that I'm pregnant again. None of that helps me, if anything it makes any anxiety I have worse. I try my best to keep faith that things will be fine in the end, but I know that there is no safe zone in pregnancy. I've seen women go through losses at 10 weeks like I did, and then there are women who go through a loss at 20 weeks, 30 weeks, even full-term at 40 weeks. It's mind boggling how common miscarriage is, yet it's such a taboo subject. 

Now, with all that being said, My husband and I are very excited that I have made it this far in this current pregnancy. I may not show it outwardly because my heart is still being guarded, but I am excited. I guess you all are dying to know what we're having, unless you already scrolled past everything I just wrote......

WE'RE HAVING A GIRL! I was stunned honestly, because all this time I totally thought it was going to be a boy. My husband and I truly had no preference of boy or girl, we just want a happy, healthy baby. I did cry though finding out, because I always dreamed of having a little girl, but again, after having my loss, it wouldn't have bothered me either way. I can't wait to meet her and see how my big, burly bear of a husband is going to be around a little baby girl. It's probably going to be the cutest thing ever, just saying. We're both so incredibly thankful that things are going well so far, and I truly believe that our son is watching over her in Heaven, making sure his little sister is safe and healthy. 

This wasn't an easy post to write, so I do hope that anyone who reads this, reads it all the way through and gains some perspective on what going through a pregnancy after a loss is like. 

Thank you to everyone who has sent prayers and well wishes our way! Keep sending them that everything keeps going well!